Saturday, 8 October 2011

X Factor Live Show 1: Blog

Live Shows have begun... so let's blog!

19:32: Oh good good, Dermot's suit is boxy and ill fitting.

19:36:  Hmm, Tulisa is looking suspiciously like Cheryl....

19:38: I need to find my X Factor drinking game rules somewhere, godammit.

19:41:  First up is Amelia Lily, for the girls. She's actually one of my favourites from the auditions, etc. Plus now she has light pink hair! There must be a trend in reality TV for that at the moment...

 Anastasija - BNTM 7
Amelia Lily - X Factor

19:44: I thought that was OK... she can definitely sing, and she made it fun. Plus, PINK HAIR.

19:48: Now it's Jonny for the Over 25s... I don't get this at all. And OMG, what is happening?! It's like Rhydian all over again, but MUCH MUCH WORSE.


19:53: That "heeeeere's Jonny" thing better not be hanging around.

19:59: Next up it's Rhythmix for the Groups. They're so hip and cool!

20:03: They're representing all girls across the country....lolwut? 

20:04: Best girlband to have ever been on the X Factor....lolwut?

20:05: Oh Frankie Cocopops can fuck right off. Why on earth is he there?! Why do girls scream at such a boyslut? Truly bizarre.

20:07: Oh and don't re-brand him as an eyeliner wearing, leather jacket wearing, pointy shoe wearing ass.

20:09:  Surprisingly but deliciously poor.

20:11: Are the judges actually mad? Unanimous good comments!

20:17: My favourite girl! Sophie Habibis. But I hate her new look :(


20:20: Awww, she is GOOD.

20:23: Next it's Jonjo for the Overs... someone I forget is even in the competition.

20:28: Mehhhhh. It was unremarkable, and tonight's first negative feedback from the judges.

20:33: I wonder why the producers have chosen THE BIG TWIST to completely take away the interactive element of the show? It does seem odd. I also think it's a bit lame... give the controls to moi!

20:36: Essex twosome Two Shoes doing Girls Aloud - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

20:40: "I like fun....but not that kinda fun" - oh, Gaaaary.

20:41:  SOB STORY ALERT. It's the guy whose hat has now turned into his actual hair - James Michael (never trust someone with two first names).

20:42: Oh no, the hat is back!

20:44: James Morrison/Michael Buble snorefest.

20:45: Playin' REAL INSTRUMENT credibiliy, yeah.

20:47: God, it's times like this you miss Aiden Grimshaw.

20:52: Misha B now... can't wait for Misha T a bit later on, and then Misha W.


20:57: Now, I love my boybands, and there's two of them on the show this year. First up it's Nuvibe (erlack on the name). Let's see if they're gonna be the best of the boys.

20:59: No. They're not.

21:01: I feel like I'm back in the 90s! Those dance moves are so Triple8. The next generation of boybands, Tulisa? I think you need a sit down with the culturemouse.

21:09: It's scouse hairdresser Marcus. 

21:11: Eh... it's alright. No one has blown me away this evening. 

21:14: Also, delayed reaction: what the hell is Kelly Rowland wearing? It's like a Christmas jumper with lime green shades. 

21:15: Ohhhhhhhhh it's the token overweight diva in the Overs. Probably doing a power ballad or warbling to Shirley Bassey. I'm off to make a cuppa.

21:18: Disintegrating with cringe (yes I can hear it from the kitchen.)

21:23: By the way there's a homemade apple and raspberry crumble in the oven just to make y'all well jel.

21:29: Now it's the other boyband, The Risk, who are the best boys by default.

21:32: Why are boybands so smooth these days? Why do they all wear shirts and blazers? They're better singers than Nuvibe, but there's no pop! Where's the pop?!?

....ahhh, that's better.

21:36: Last of the Boys, it's Craig. He gave up working in a biscuit factory for this?!

21:38: Oh, he really is the best singer though. Kudos. Best performance of the night.

21:41: This has really bogged in the middle, but now we're down to the last two contestants, and they're two of the most interesting.

21:46: I have to admit Kitty in the Overs is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine... I love how ridiculous she is! Get ready for this one.

21:49: Madness! She is engaging, though. 

21:51: The judges wanted more drama?! I think she's pretty spent after her light up outfit at Boot Camp.

21:52: Awww it's my other favourite - lil Irish Janet! And now she has auburn hair.... lush. She reminds me so much of Diana Vickers, and I ended up getting pretty obsessed with her. I hope she continues to be kooky!

21:54: Ooh she's doing one of the loveliest songs.

21:56: Hmm, pretty and safe. I kinda wish she'd stepped it up a bit, tbh.

21:57: "Muma" yyyyyes Kelly. Good comments though!

So here's my top 5 from Week 1...

5. Marcus
4. Amelia
3. Janet
2. Craig
1. Sophie

And here's who should be going home tomorrow...

Girls: Misha B
Boys: Frankie Cock
Over 25s: Sami
Groups: oh all of them.

Results tomorrow!

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